I've turned into a cow!

Boobs, today's topic is boobs.  And well more specifically breast feeding.  So any male followers I may have out there, consider yourself warned!

Before I got pregnant, I was against breast feeding.  Not in general, but for myself.  I wasn't breast fed and I turned out just fine!  And while doctors say that breast milk is the best, I think babies can do just fine with formula.  My decision was purely a selfish one.  I didn't want my boobs to sag when I'm older.  All the horror stories I'd heard through out the years didn't help either.  Chapped nipples, clogged milk ducts...uhh no thank you.  Plus, the thought of having a little creature attached to my boob ALL THE TIME (practically) was just not something that appealed to me at all.

THEN I got pregnant, and I started thinking about it.  I mean women have been doing it for forever.  Then I did some research.  Yes, formula is just fine for babies, BUT breast milk is BETTER.  There are things in it, that cannot be artificially made and added.  For instance, I find it fascinating that she receives some of my immune system through breast milk.  I still wasn't convince, but the idea was growing on me.  And I figured I had 9 WHOLE months to wrestle with the idea.  So I kind of put it on the back burner to deal with later.

And a short 7 months later, I was in the hospital, dealing with high blood pressure.  It would have been nice to have made some of our major decisions before then.  Because in those two weeks, my focus was on myself and keeping Madison safe for as long as I could.  And really the thought of breast milk vs. formula never came up, and I didn't think about it.

However, the Sunday after she was born sooo Feb. 26th, the question was raised, and settled once and for all.  I was in the NICU with Tyler and the nurse Ramona (amazing woman by the way) came in to talk to us about Madisons' care.  The first thing she asked was breast or formula?  And before I even had a chance to think about it, breast popped out of my mouth.  I just knew then that I had to breast feed her.  I had to give her the best fighting chance I could.  Then Ramona asked us another question that kind of startled me.  Obviously since I didn't carry to term, my body wasn't quite ready to produce milk yet.  So what do you feed her while she waits for my milk to come in?  I mean the girl still had to eat.  The options were formula, or human pasteurized milk from donor moms.  I was shocked!  I had no idea that donor milk was even an option.  Ramona assured us that the milk was safe and free of any diseases.  Once again before I even had a chance to think about it, breast milk came out of my mouth.  My reasons being, that once my milk did come in, it wouldn't be such a shock to her system.  So after that visit I went up to my room and began to pump.  Most of the nurses told me to give it about a week before my milk came in.  But in a short 2 days, my milk came in, and it was the next day that I was producing enough for them to give her my milk exclusively.

So now I am attached to a breast pump...oh joy.  Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing it enough (6-7 times a day) and that I may not be producing enough for her.  But I remind myself, that I will give her everything I can for as long as I can.  And if we have to switch to formula, or supplement with formula, then that's what we'll do.

I haven't actually gotten to try a real breast feeding session yet.  Madison is still on a feeding tube.  BUT today I got to experience something neat.  I got to do what's called non-nutritive breast feeding.  Basically I pump right before they get her out of the isolate.  Then they give her to me, and we practice feeding with no milk in my breast.  It gives her a chance to kind of explore this breast feeding thing.  Its a totally foreign idea to her.  While she is positioned on me the feed her through the feeding tube.  That way she can start to associate being on Mommy, and sucking with getting full.  We only did it for about 15 minutes today before she got bored and fell asleep.  But it was still an awesome experience.  And I can't wait to try it again!

And as for all the horror stories I heard?  Well my nipples are sore most of the time, I feel like a cow ALL OF THE TIME.  I can see why your boobs sag.  They get full and firm, and then empty and kinda, well...floppy.  And I'm sure I will get to experience many other "joys" of breast feeding.  But ya know what? Madison is totally worth it!  She has been worth every second of the experience.