Some Days it's Hard to Be a Mom

Yesterday was a hard day to be a mom.  It was a day filled with crying (both me and Mads), throw-up, doctors appointments, frustrating visits to the pharmacy, no shower (and possibly no morning teeth brushing), and to top it all off, 4 hours at work.  Madison is sick, she rarely gets sick, and we were told to avoid it, and fear it for the longest time, so now when it happens, my world kind of falls apart.

I thought she was just miserable because growing teeth, well that's hard work.  But on Thursday night she spent the night in bed with me and Tyler.  I tried to put her into her own bed several times, but as soon as I walked away from the crib she would just loose it.  So into my bed she went.  And when I say she slept in our bed, I actually mean she slept on ME in my bed.  She didn't get much sleep and developed a fever at some point.

I went to bed wrestling with myself, trying to decide if she was just teething or if something else was going on.  Let me explain something.  I HATE going to the doctors office.  Not because it cost money, or because it's far way (it's about 25-30 min away, but her Dr. is FABULOUS)  I hate going because if my child isn't sick (if we're going in for a Well Child checkup) then the last thing I want to do, is expose her to a whole room FULL of sick kids.  So I was wresting with myself, because do I risk exposing her to illness if it's just teeth?  At some point in the middle of the night, I finally made that decision that it was something else.  And that something else warranted a trip to the DR.

So the first thing I did when I woke up was to call the Doctors office and make an appointment for 12:10 that day.  That left me with only 4 hours to fill before we left.  We had a little bit of breakfast (she wasn't very hungry).  I put Madison on the floor by the bathtub to watch the water, when she had a coughing fit that ended with vomit on my bathroom floor.  And then we took a bath.  Water has this magical effect on Mads.  She LOVES her bath.  Even though she wasn't feeling very good, she was still able to splash and have a great time.  I got her dressed and attempted breakfast again.  Madison's poor sinuses were/are draining so bad that she is choking, then coughing so hard she pukes.  Well milk makes it worse.  So after breakfast attempt number 2, she threw up all over herself, me and my living room floor.  This day was going great and it wasn't even 10 am yet.

After getting a Priesthood blessing from her Grandpa and Great-Grandpa Johnson we went to the Dr.  I had somehow managed to pull my hair up and get dressed.  When we got there I was shocked, we were the only ones in the waiting room.  We even got to see the fishies that are usually under scrutiny from about 6 or 7 snot nosed, coughing kids.  Madison did so well at the doctors.  She didn't like getting her ears looked at.  But when I said her doctor is fabulous, I mean it.  He gets down on his knees, and plays with her and blows her kisses when he leaves.

Unfortunately Mads has a double ear infection, and what the doctor called a bronchial infection.  The bronchial infection is my worst nightmare come to fruition.  Her little lungs are so vulnerable to infection, we have been praying she would never get one.  He gave us her prescription and told me to make sure her lungs don't get worse.  Right now she is moving air just fine, it just sounds very "rattly" is what he said.  So even though she may appear to be getting better the infection can hide in the small capillaries of her lungs.   We will be keeping a close watch on her until she gets better.

I had a couple of minor break downs yesterday.  A crying child and fray nerves like nothing else.  What's worse is that I don't know what else I could have done to make it better for her, but love her and giver her what I thought she needed.

I never did get a shower yesterday, but I was able to wash my face and get a new coat of mascara on before leaving for work, where I had to deal with a whole different kind of frustrating.  I told Tyler that I hoped I wouldn't get fired last night.  I was cranky, and I really don't care for some of the people that were working last night.  But I was able to keep my thoughts to myself, and got home to a (shockingly) happy baby!

Yesterday was a hard day to be a Mom, but it was all worth it when Madison ran (as fast as her little legs could go) up to me when I walked in the door after work and gave me the biggest hug her little arms would let her.