Well, we made it. WE MADE IT HOME! On March 29th, we got the all clear from the doctors to bring my beautiful baby home. On Wednesday night Tyler and I spent the night with Madison in the hospital. They have rooms that you can stay in right before you go home, so that you can have a night with your kid, and their medical equipment. The theory behind it, is that once you get home, you know how to deal with any problems that may arise. That was a really long night. Madison is still on a small amount of oxygen so she has to be on a blood oxygen monitor to make sure she doesn't drop down too low. Well this machine is super annoying. Every time she moved her little foot, it went off. And then there were the feedings. Getting up every 4 hours for feedings was a completely forgein concept to me. I hadn't had to do it before. Needless to say Thrusday dawned very early and with a very tired mom and dad. It was still exciting because we'd never spent the night with our little girl.
We went back to NICU after catching a few ZZZ's after the nurse took her before morning rounds. The first thing out of my mouth as the day shift nurse came in (not one of our primary's unfortunatly) was "are we going home?" she informed me that we wouldn't find out until after rounds. My balloon instantly deflated. After spending over a month in the NICU I knew that rounds could happen as early as 10:00 am or as late as 1:00 pm. So Tyler and I settled into her room as Madison worked on her car seat test, and waited.
Lucky for me, rounds started at 11:00 on this day. So now we just had to wait our turn. The good thing about being in 'A' pod, most of the babies were/are whats called "feeder/growers" which for the most part, doesn't come with a whole lot of updates from the doctor. Of course on this day there were 2 critical babies in our pod, with a lot to talk about. I could see the gathering of Doctors and parents from our window/doors. I felt a little selfish, I just wanted all the other meetings to hurry up, so that we could have ours. I was a little anxious. After what seemed like an eternity, our nurse came in and said it was our turn. I jumped up and was ready to bolt out the door. Tyler was sitting there playing on his phone, and the nurse asked if he wanted to come. I told him he had to. It could be the rounds that they tell us we're going home, he had to be there.
So we walked out to the nurses station and took our seats. The doctors and nurses talked about her numbers and how she was doing. The the Neonatologist looked at me and asked if we were ready to go home. Uh DUH! But I calmly said, yes we are ready. And the doctor said the best words I'd ever heard. "So, let it be done." I was a little shocked. Really? It's over, we get to go? I looked around at all the faces there and asked, so now what? Do we just pack her up and go?
There were a few things we had to get done first, one last feeding, some discharge papers, a vitamin perscription, and gathering up our stuff. While we were waiting for everything to be done, I went to the nurses station to talk to Ramona. Ramona was not one of our primary nurses, but I wish she would have been. She was with Madison during her first week in the NICU, and her last week in the NICU. Ramona was talking to another mother, so I just hung back and waited my turn. Ramona asked the other mother when she was going home. She responded that if everything went well, they would be going the next day. Ramona then turned to me and asked when we were going home. I looked at her with tears in my eyes and said "now, we're going home now." Ramona jumped up and rushed over to me. And I just lost it. She gave me a big bear hug, and I started crying. Oh but these were happy tears. For the first time since being in the NICU I was crying tears of joy. We get to go home! One leg of our journey was finally coming to a close.
At 1:45 I signed the discharge papers, and Tyler and I packed up our daughter and walked out of the NICU one last time. One last walk down that long hallway. We got into the car, and drove out of the parking lot one last time.
And now we are home. The three of us, our little family home at last. Madison is still on a small amount of oxygen, so we are tethered to an oxygen tank. And we can't go into the general public for about 3 months. But oh, to be home, to not have to GO somewhere to see my daughter. It's a feeling that I can't describe. It's wonderful. I walk a couple of steps and there she is. We've gone to the doctor twice since being home, and she is still doing great! We are starting to wean her off the oxygen. We're hoping to have her off that by then end of the month.
We decided not to announce her coming home on Facebook. She is still vunerable to germs. Because of that, we don't want any unexpected visitors. It's been hard for me not to announce it to the whole world. But I am one protective mama when it comes to my little girl. I don't want anyone that doesn't have the all clear to come near my daughter. Maybe in a few weeks I'll finally let people in my extended network know that she came home. But for now it's nice to be a family at home, in our own little world. It's been a long time coming, and I love every second of it.
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