The winter weather is officially upon us. With the winter weather comes cold and flu season. And for me the constant worry that Madison might get sick. I feel the need to clarify some things. I worry about Madison getting sick. Yes, I am a new mom, and so I worry more then a mom of 2 or 3, because I don't know what the 'norm' is. BUT, please don't think that I am being overly protective of my child, when I tell someone that we won't be going to church/attending your party/ or playing with your kids, if any one is sick. I'm not trying to be rude or mean. Madison cannot fight germs as well as a full term baby can. We are back on a modified 'lockdown' through the cold and flu season. When Madison was released from the hospital in April cold and flu season was on the way out. So we were told to stay away from other people for about 3 months so that her immune system could gain some strength. So we did. And after that we started taking her out more, and we even ventured to church. But at her last well child appointment her doctor told us, this winter we need to be careful. We do not need to avoid people this year, but if they have a cold or are sick, we need to avoid them. RSV is a scary illness for a term baby with lungs that are ready to enter the world. It's even worse for a preemie baby.
Madison was born 10 weeks early, her lungs were NOT ready yet. So I know that some people with babies Madisons age may think I'm being a crazy mom, I know I'm not. I spent 5 weeks, 5 WEEKS, in the NICU. With people telling me every day to hope for the best but expect the worse. "She's doing really good today, but tomorrow could be different." "She did really good lastnight, but she could always go down hill." Up until the day, THE DAY we went home, people were telling us that things could take a turn for the worse. So every night when Tyler and I got ready to leave her side, we would pray that she would get through the night with no complications. Every morning, and the way to the hospital I would pray that she had a good night. And every afternoon when I left her side, I would pray for her to have a good day. I prayed 24/7 for her to get better, and stay better. I wished and hoped and prayed for 5 weeks to not hear bad news. We were lucky, she never had a bad night or day. She never had a downhill drop, she kept getting better and better. And when we got her home, she continued to thrive.
I know, no mother wants her child to get sick, and most new moms worry about a cough or the sniffles. But for me, I fought for 5 weeks for her to get better, and stay that way. And I will do that for as long as I have to. I will not expose her to unnecessary risk. Next year might be better, she will be almost 2, and her lungs will be stronger. So next winter, we would love to come to your parties/ play dates/ and church, with or without every ones germs. But this year, I'm not going to do it. And I hope I don't offend anyone but if I do, well then to me, it will be your problem not mine.
I also feel I have to add this... My stay in the NICU, was minuscule to what some others have to go through. And I know that. My experience was a relatively good one. I mean the NICU sucks, no doubt about that. But my stay could have been a LOT worse, and I thank God that it wasn't. I have friends who's babies went through worse then Mads. But one thing all NICU families have in common, we will all do what we have to do to prevent our babies from ever ending up back in the NICU or PICU. It's just not something we want to go through again.
So if I have to hurt some feelings to keep Madison healthy, well then I will just have to do that. And either you get over it, or you won't. If you don't, well then I guess we weren't that close anyway.
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loved ur post! you are doing the right thing. we have the same issue with our older boy, he was born with respiratory distress and so in the first 2 years of life, he got sick almost every couple of weeks during the fall/winter/spring season - and some of those colds/infections were very scary! there's nothing worse than watching your child struggling to breathe. other people SIMPLY DON'T GET IT AND NEVER WILL, even family members. if their child can get over a cold without being hospitalized or needing a dr's appointment - they don't think it's a problem that their child is coughing and wiping boogers. i find that so ignorant and rude of people, to bring their sick children in public because to them it's "not a big deal". ha ha if for some reason, i have to take my boys to the store with me, i wipe the living crap out of those shopping carts, and their hands, and mine. and other people just look at me like im a retard for taking 10 minutes to buckle my child into the cart - but, you do what you have to! glad that i am not the only person going through this! hope your little madison stays healthy this season. oh and btw, my hubby is friends with your hubby, or maybe with both of you? in case you are wondering who i am, ha ha
ReplyDeleteI think most people understand especially if you explain that her lungs are not like other babies her same age, and that an illness could easily lead to rehospitalization. I have always just taken the approach of Quinn's health comes first, and people have always seemed to be cool with that, at least to my face. Ha, ha! Maybe behind my back they think I am horribly over protective.
ReplyDeleteGood luck this winter and I hope you all stay healthy!!!!