My baby is 2 weeks old today!!! In the last 2 weeks a lot has changed. We haven't gotten to experience the "normal" or "typical" milestones that come with most newborns. We have had a lot of our own milestones though. Like when they took her off the C-pap breathing machine, when they lowered the amount of oxygen she needs. Even the amount of food she is getting. Of course we have many more milestones too look forward to. Weaning her off oxygen completely, taking out her feeding tube, and of course the big one I CAN'T WAIT FOR, coming home! We still have a while before that last one happens, but it's coming!
This is has has been a long month. 2 weeks in the hospital trying to keep my blood pressure down, and Madison inside my belly. And so far 2 weeks in the NICU. Of course the NICU is actually harder on the parents I think. I spent 7 weeks in the NICU myself as a baby. And I don't remember any of it. My parents though, talking to them about it, and it's almost like they are there again. Madison just hangs out in her isolett growing like she's supposed to be. And while our situation is a mild one compared to others, it's still hard for me to handle some days. Every time she cries because someone woke her up to poke and prod at her it breaks my heart. All I want to do it pick her up and comfort her, but I can't. And the first time that happened, I lost it. I couldn't reach in and pick her up. So I sat in the chair and cried. It's not so bad now. I know that the nurses know what they're doing, and they aren't actually hurting her, she is just mad at being bothered. Every now and then I kinda chuckle. Because if she thinks you are mistreating her...she will let you know. She is feisty that way.
It's getting a little easier to leave her now. I get a little sad and teary eyed some days when I leave. But I keep the crying to a minimum now. At least when I'm leaving. I hate to go, but I also know that I cannot sit in the semi dark room all day. It can get a little depressing. So I leave for a little while every day. I usually come home and pump, and clean a little bit. And when it's time to go back I feel refreshed, and ready to take care of my baby.
I would say that we probably have at least 4 more weeks in the NICU. It will be a long road. But it's one that I would travel again and again for my Madison. If this is what she needs right now, then I'll be there for here. And I will wait for her milestones, and be excited when she gets to them. Her milestones may be a little different from a full term baby, but they are just as amazing. And when she is to the point where she is achieving the "normal" milestones, I will be so thankful for them.
And by the way her latest milestone was a pretty big one. My little baby girl is now officially 3 pounds!! She is quickly growing. And before I know it I will be able to pick her up for a snuggle any time I want. My arms cannot wait for that day!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Just a little info
So it's been a while since I've updated my blog. Things have been a little hectic lately. I have been discharged from the hospital, which was the hardest thing (or one of) I've ever had to do. I will write a separate blog about that, when I can get my emotions under control. Madison is still in the NICU but is doing great. My day goes as follows. Get up with Tyler, he takes me to the hospital at 7:30, I hang out with Miss Madison until around 12:30, when my Dad comes to pick me up, I hang out with my dad and nap until 5:00 when Tyler comes over from work. We all eat dinner, and then Tyler and I head home. We usually hang out while I pump some milk, then head back to the hospital at 7:30. We stay until around 10:00 and then head home, shower and go to bed. It won't be like that until Madison comes home. I just haven't been able to drive. I've been taking Percocet, and it makes me kinda loopy. But I haven't taken one today, so hopefully I can reclaim my car from my dads house where it's been for safe keeping for almost a month. Once I am mobile again, the schedule might alter a little.
So back to Madison. She is at a whopping 2 lbs. 13 oz. now. When she was born she was 2 lbs. 9 oz., and then dropped down to 2 lbs 6 oz. She she is really going up now. She is on a small amount of oxygen, and had all of her IV's taken out. So we are just waiting for her to gain weight. Once she does that she will be weened off the oxygen, and will be able to regulate her own temperature. Oh and she needs to learn how to eat. Now she is on a feeding tube. We should start to teach her how to feed within the next week.
So I know this was pretty brief, and not a lot of detail. But to be honest, it's exhausting to be dealing with all of this. And I still need to take a shower. So I just wanted to put some information out there for those of you who are wondering. Eventually I plan on blogging regularly again, but right now it really is at the bottom of my list of important things.
So back to Madison. She is at a whopping 2 lbs. 13 oz. now. When she was born she was 2 lbs. 9 oz., and then dropped down to 2 lbs 6 oz. She she is really going up now. She is on a small amount of oxygen, and had all of her IV's taken out. So we are just waiting for her to gain weight. Once she does that she will be weened off the oxygen, and will be able to regulate her own temperature. Oh and she needs to learn how to eat. Now she is on a feeding tube. We should start to teach her how to feed within the next week.
So I know this was pretty brief, and not a lot of detail. But to be honest, it's exhausting to be dealing with all of this. And I still need to take a shower. So I just wanted to put some information out there for those of you who are wondering. Eventually I plan on blogging regularly again, but right now it really is at the bottom of my list of important things.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Oh baby!!
Wow!! A lot has happened since my last post. In my last post I was frustrated because Madison's heart wasn't working like they wanted it too. Her base heart rate was typically around 129-135. So what they wanted to see was a heart acceleration of 10, twice in a twenty minute period. Well she just wasn't doing that. Her heartbeat was staying steady, she just wasn't moving enough to accelerate that little heartbeat. Which is concerning. One thing that the placenta does (at least to my knowledge, if I'm wrong let me know) is to supply Madison with blood, so that she can grow. Well the pre-eclampsia kinda messes up that whole process. With the HIGH blood pressure, my heart was making my placenta work too hard, making the veins smaller. So with the medication we were able to get that under control. But we knew from the beginning that if placenta decided to quit, that Madison would have to be delivered, despite what my blood pressure was. Well my placenta decided to quit. It wasn't pumping enough blood to Madison, so she was basically in survival mode. Trying to maintain a heart rate that would actually keep her alive.
So on the 23rd, after 2 stress test that showed little movement, they moved me to Labor and Delivery AGAIN, for prolonged testing. At that point I kind of knew it was over. They put me back on an IV, and told me no food or drink. They also put me on oxygen, to try and perk up Madison. When they took me of food and drink, I know something was up, they don't normally do that unless a C-section is in the future. So I cried a little and clung onto Tyler when I could. They watched me through the night. In the morning the Dr. came in and told me things went well through the night, and that they were taking me off oxygen to see how she would do over 4 hours. And then I KNEW we were done. I didn't think they would keep me on oxygen for 3 weeks to get me to 34 weeks. I think they gave me 4 hours, so that they could be me onto the schedule for a C-section.
At 12:00 pm the nurse came in and said that we were gonna go ahead for a C-section. So many emotions went through my mind. She wasn't done cooking, I was ready to let her out of my belly. C-sections are scary. Where's my mommy? Can I be a mommy? At this point it didn't matter anymore. It was gonna happen.
The nurse came in and explain pretty much step by step what they would be doing. And how it would most likely feel. And then the Dr. from the NICU came in and explained some of the complications that could occur with a preemie birth at this age. He explained that she had a very good chance of thriving.
My sister came, and hung around with Tyler and I until it was time for me to go back to the O.R. She hung out clear up until it was time for me to go back. Tyler donned some pretty awesome scrubs that made him look like the Micheline Man. I got an awesome blue cap, and we were ready.
The nurse gave me the option of walking, a wheel chair, or riding the bed back to the O.R. I chose to walk. It had been so long (2 weeks) since I'd been allowed to walk any where but to the bathroom. My legs were wobbly, a mix of nerves and not using them a lot for 2 weeks. I remember walking down the hall way holding Tyler's hand, thinking "I can't believe this is about to happen." The last 2 weeks the possibility of delivery has been lingering in my mind. Every time they took a BP, every time a doctor came in, every time a nurse asked if I was having any symptoms (which I never did). And now it was finally time to meet this little girl.
I have never had major surgery before. Unless you count your wisdom teeth being pulled, which I never did. It was weird walking into the O.R. It was bright, and there was a table in the middle of the room just for me. Oh man, I'm about to have an C-section. I sat down on the bed with Tyler in front of me and waited for the anesthesiologist to administer the epidural. I had to sit at the edge of the bed and curl forward. I had Tyler directly in front of me, with my hands in his. So that is what I chose to focus on. Obviously I'm not sure what was going on behind me. I could feel something being rubbed on, the doctor pressing down on the spine, and finally it was time for the shot. I felt in on the right side first. To begin with, it feels like you are putting just one leg into a warm pool, and then if feels just like your leg fell asleep. That weird tingly, numb sleep, not the poking painful kind. And then my left leg went numb. Now it was time to lie down...mmm ok. I was numb from my waist down, and you want me to put my legs up? Hahaha yeah, right. Of course I had a nurse with me the whole time, and Tyler. So I lay down on my left side from the butt up, and rolled to my back. Then the Nurse put my legs onto the table for me.
They put a sheet up so I couldn't see. however they did offer me a mirror if I wanted to see. I politely declined, I didn't need to see my stomach cut open, belch. They gave Tyler a stool and parked him above my head to the left. He had his hand on my head through out. I had my arms stretched out with IVs running. And I had what I call the shakes. It was cold in the O.R. So I was shivering, but occasionally I would start shaking. All the medication had something to do with it I'm sure, but I was also scared.
The Doctor asked me if I could feel anything sharp, and I said no. So they were ready to start. It is really a strange sensation. I was laying there looking into my husbands dark brown eyes, totally lucid, while they are cutting me open. I could feel pressure and tugging, which is kinda icky to think about. Speaking of icky, Tyler happened to look up (he could see over the sheet without straining) as they were hold up my tummy. I didn't know this of course. But all the sudden he started to sway back and forth. I remember asking him where he was going, and he turned white. So I told the nurse he was about to pass out. So they all rushed to his side, took his mask off, and tried to get him to calm down. And in my head I was thinking "I'm already a mom." here I was getting major surgery and I'm worrying about whether or not my husband is going to pass out. Then I found in humorous that I was the one giving birth, and he's hogging all the attention. Eventually he was well enough to be taken outside to get some fresh air, and a juice.
He wasn't in the room when Madison was born, but I don't think he would have been able to handle a blood covered Madison. I was just laying there trying to ignore the strange sensations that were going on. Because really it's enough to make you want to throw up. Suddenly, the Doc says it was time to pull her out and that I would feel some pressure. Wow a little pressure? That was an understatement. I couldn't feel any pain, but there was more then a little pressure. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. And I strained my ears, and then I heard it. Her high pitched, pissed off cry!! Oh I was so happy! I laughed and sighed. I didn't know if she was okay, or what she looked like. But she cried! That was a pretty good start!
We were told she had to be delivered at just before noon on Feb. 24, 2012. And at 1:45 pm on Feb 24, 2012 Madison Ann Johnson was born! It went that quickly. The nurse was good enough to grab our camera and snap a picture before they whisked her away to the NICU. And now it was time to sew Mommy back up.
The sewing me back up is what took the longest. I have dissolving stitches internally, and staples externally. When we were first checked into the hospital we were told that there are 2 ways to do the surgery. One, is a traditional C-section. For this one, the make a crescent shaped incision horizontally just above the bikini line and go in. Once in they make ANOTHER horizontal cut in the uterus. The second type, is more commonly used for emergency c-sections. They start with a horizontal cut but once inside, the make a vertical incision. You want them to do the first set of incisions if you can help it. For one, it makes a vaginal delivery later on, possible. The also aren't cutting against the grain of muscle separating them. So it's easier to recover from. The reason I bring all this up? Well the doctor said originally that they may have to do a vertical cut through the uterus. And the reason for that is, the further along you are the thicker the uterine wall is. If it is too thin, they have to go vertically, simply to be able to stitch it back together. I was hoping that they would be able to do a traditional C-section, and cut horizontally both internally and externally. And the 2 weeks was enough for the uterus to thicken, and a traditional C-section was performed. Whew!
OH I forgot to mention, that Tyler was eventually brought back into the O.R. about 5 minutes after Madison was born. So he was there to hold my hand and stroke my head while they stitched me up.
The anesthesiologist gave me some pain medication while the surgery was still going. So in addition to being numb from the boobs down, I was starting to feel loopy. And itchy! The medication made my face itch. Which they told me was normal. I was instructed to not scratch with my nails, to just rub a little, but try to leave it alone. Oh yeah right. I tried my hardest but every couple of minutes, my shaky left hand made it's way up to my nose and lips. And Tyler would gently scold me, and back down my hand went.
Finally the doctor announced he was done. He looked over the sheet, and told me I did very well. Whew. I did good, and my baby cried , so now take me back to recovery so that I can go see her!
So I could keep going on with this story, but I think I'm gonna break it up a little. Other wise this post would be super long. It's a little long now.
I will say, that Madison it doing well. I went down 3 times today to see her. And while she is super small, she's a fighter! She screams when someone hurts her (drawing blood), and it's a pissed of scream. But oh so cute! It's amazing to love someone as much as I love her. I now know about the mama bear instinct. And I would do anything for my little Madison. She truly is a huge blessing in my life. And even though she's only 2 days old, I don't know what I would do without her.
So on the 23rd, after 2 stress test that showed little movement, they moved me to Labor and Delivery AGAIN, for prolonged testing. At that point I kind of knew it was over. They put me back on an IV, and told me no food or drink. They also put me on oxygen, to try and perk up Madison. When they took me of food and drink, I know something was up, they don't normally do that unless a C-section is in the future. So I cried a little and clung onto Tyler when I could. They watched me through the night. In the morning the Dr. came in and told me things went well through the night, and that they were taking me off oxygen to see how she would do over 4 hours. And then I KNEW we were done. I didn't think they would keep me on oxygen for 3 weeks to get me to 34 weeks. I think they gave me 4 hours, so that they could be me onto the schedule for a C-section.
At 12:00 pm the nurse came in and said that we were gonna go ahead for a C-section. So many emotions went through my mind. She wasn't done cooking, I was ready to let her out of my belly. C-sections are scary. Where's my mommy? Can I be a mommy? At this point it didn't matter anymore. It was gonna happen.
The nurse came in and explain pretty much step by step what they would be doing. And how it would most likely feel. And then the Dr. from the NICU came in and explained some of the complications that could occur with a preemie birth at this age. He explained that she had a very good chance of thriving.
My sister came, and hung around with Tyler and I until it was time for me to go back to the O.R. She hung out clear up until it was time for me to go back. Tyler donned some pretty awesome scrubs that made him look like the Micheline Man. I got an awesome blue cap, and we were ready.
The nurse gave me the option of walking, a wheel chair, or riding the bed back to the O.R. I chose to walk. It had been so long (2 weeks) since I'd been allowed to walk any where but to the bathroom. My legs were wobbly, a mix of nerves and not using them a lot for 2 weeks. I remember walking down the hall way holding Tyler's hand, thinking "I can't believe this is about to happen." The last 2 weeks the possibility of delivery has been lingering in my mind. Every time they took a BP, every time a doctor came in, every time a nurse asked if I was having any symptoms (which I never did). And now it was finally time to meet this little girl.
I have never had major surgery before. Unless you count your wisdom teeth being pulled, which I never did. It was weird walking into the O.R. It was bright, and there was a table in the middle of the room just for me. Oh man, I'm about to have an C-section. I sat down on the bed with Tyler in front of me and waited for the anesthesiologist to administer the epidural. I had to sit at the edge of the bed and curl forward. I had Tyler directly in front of me, with my hands in his. So that is what I chose to focus on. Obviously I'm not sure what was going on behind me. I could feel something being rubbed on, the doctor pressing down on the spine, and finally it was time for the shot. I felt in on the right side first. To begin with, it feels like you are putting just one leg into a warm pool, and then if feels just like your leg fell asleep. That weird tingly, numb sleep, not the poking painful kind. And then my left leg went numb. Now it was time to lie down...mmm ok. I was numb from my waist down, and you want me to put my legs up? Hahaha yeah, right. Of course I had a nurse with me the whole time, and Tyler. So I lay down on my left side from the butt up, and rolled to my back. Then the Nurse put my legs onto the table for me.
They put a sheet up so I couldn't see. however they did offer me a mirror if I wanted to see. I politely declined, I didn't need to see my stomach cut open, belch. They gave Tyler a stool and parked him above my head to the left. He had his hand on my head through out. I had my arms stretched out with IVs running. And I had what I call the shakes. It was cold in the O.R. So I was shivering, but occasionally I would start shaking. All the medication had something to do with it I'm sure, but I was also scared.
The Doctor asked me if I could feel anything sharp, and I said no. So they were ready to start. It is really a strange sensation. I was laying there looking into my husbands dark brown eyes, totally lucid, while they are cutting me open. I could feel pressure and tugging, which is kinda icky to think about. Speaking of icky, Tyler happened to look up (he could see over the sheet without straining) as they were hold up my tummy. I didn't know this of course. But all the sudden he started to sway back and forth. I remember asking him where he was going, and he turned white. So I told the nurse he was about to pass out. So they all rushed to his side, took his mask off, and tried to get him to calm down. And in my head I was thinking "I'm already a mom." here I was getting major surgery and I'm worrying about whether or not my husband is going to pass out. Then I found in humorous that I was the one giving birth, and he's hogging all the attention. Eventually he was well enough to be taken outside to get some fresh air, and a juice.
He wasn't in the room when Madison was born, but I don't think he would have been able to handle a blood covered Madison. I was just laying there trying to ignore the strange sensations that were going on. Because really it's enough to make you want to throw up. Suddenly, the Doc says it was time to pull her out and that I would feel some pressure. Wow a little pressure? That was an understatement. I couldn't feel any pain, but there was more then a little pressure. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. And I strained my ears, and then I heard it. Her high pitched, pissed off cry!! Oh I was so happy! I laughed and sighed. I didn't know if she was okay, or what she looked like. But she cried! That was a pretty good start!
We were told she had to be delivered at just before noon on Feb. 24, 2012. And at 1:45 pm on Feb 24, 2012 Madison Ann Johnson was born! It went that quickly. The nurse was good enough to grab our camera and snap a picture before they whisked her away to the NICU. And now it was time to sew Mommy back up.
The sewing me back up is what took the longest. I have dissolving stitches internally, and staples externally. When we were first checked into the hospital we were told that there are 2 ways to do the surgery. One, is a traditional C-section. For this one, the make a crescent shaped incision horizontally just above the bikini line and go in. Once in they make ANOTHER horizontal cut in the uterus. The second type, is more commonly used for emergency c-sections. They start with a horizontal cut but once inside, the make a vertical incision. You want them to do the first set of incisions if you can help it. For one, it makes a vaginal delivery later on, possible. The also aren't cutting against the grain of muscle separating them. So it's easier to recover from. The reason I bring all this up? Well the doctor said originally that they may have to do a vertical cut through the uterus. And the reason for that is, the further along you are the thicker the uterine wall is. If it is too thin, they have to go vertically, simply to be able to stitch it back together. I was hoping that they would be able to do a traditional C-section, and cut horizontally both internally and externally. And the 2 weeks was enough for the uterus to thicken, and a traditional C-section was performed. Whew!
OH I forgot to mention, that Tyler was eventually brought back into the O.R. about 5 minutes after Madison was born. So he was there to hold my hand and stroke my head while they stitched me up.
The anesthesiologist gave me some pain medication while the surgery was still going. So in addition to being numb from the boobs down, I was starting to feel loopy. And itchy! The medication made my face itch. Which they told me was normal. I was instructed to not scratch with my nails, to just rub a little, but try to leave it alone. Oh yeah right. I tried my hardest but every couple of minutes, my shaky left hand made it's way up to my nose and lips. And Tyler would gently scold me, and back down my hand went.
Finally the doctor announced he was done. He looked over the sheet, and told me I did very well. Whew. I did good, and my baby cried , so now take me back to recovery so that I can go see her!
So I could keep going on with this story, but I think I'm gonna break it up a little. Other wise this post would be super long. It's a little long now.
I will say, that Madison it doing well. I went down 3 times today to see her. And while she is super small, she's a fighter! She screams when someone hurts her (drawing blood), and it's a pissed of scream. But oh so cute! It's amazing to love someone as much as I love her. I now know about the mama bear instinct. And I would do anything for my little Madison. She truly is a huge blessing in my life. And even though she's only 2 days old, I don't know what I would do without her.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Move baby, move!
I am a little frustrated today. Madison isn't moving as much as she should...or at least not when they monitor her and try to see the movement in action. I think she's moving enough. I mean she was twisting and turning this morning around 6 am when Tyler climbed into my little bed to snuggle me for a minute before getting ready for work. But since then not a whole lot. A few kicks and punch here and there, and a flutter occasionally. But as soon as we go down to do the "stress test".....nuthin. Her heart rate stays in the 125-135 range, but no big spikes, which is what they want to see. So now of course I'm worried. Should I have been paying more attention? So that I would know if this is unusual? Can you have baby that's just chill in the womb? Or is she trying to tell us, that she's had enough and it's time to make an appearance into this world? I don't want her to be done "cooking" It's a cold cloudy day, she is safer in my warm tummy and should just stay put. At least for another 4 weeks. Once we get to 34 weeks, then I'm good, she can come into this world and I will be a happy momma. Of course I'll be happy whenever she comes, but 34 weeks gives her time to fatten up and grow a little more.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I'm SPECIAL!!
In case there was ever any question... I AM SPECIAL! Or at least a medical oddity, if you talk to my Doctors. Every morning a resident comes in at 6 am to give me an update on my condition. Followed by an attending at 8-ish (ALWAYS while I'm eating, it's annoying). And for the last couple of days all they've been able to tell me is "well you're doing good! Any questions?" And then leave in a flurry of white coats and green scrubs. Well this morning at around 8 as I was eating my breakfast the attending came in, with a resident and 2 med students. And today they had a little more to tell me. He said that they haven't ever had someone come in, in such bad shape, only to turn around and be stable for so long. I was also told that I no longer HAVE to have a c-section. If I continue this way, they should be able to induce me, without any problems. They also told me that the longest they will keep me here on medication will be 34 weeks. At 34 weeks if I'm still pregnant, they will induce me. At 34 weeks, they feel like they should induce. The baby will thrive when she's born, and shouldn't be in NICU for too long. They also made sure to say that things could change, my BP could go all haywire again. Which is always lingering in the back of my mind. But it is so nice to not worry every time they take my BP (which only happens every 4 hours now) And I've actually been getting some sleep at night which is always helpful. But funny thing, when they wake me up out of a deep sleep, my BP is always higher. Not dangerously high, mind you. It's still in normal range, just higher. So maybe just maybe they should just leave me alone.
So now there is a goal in site. Tyler and I were going for 34 weeks already, but for a doctor to confirm that number makes it real. Today I am 30.3 weeks. So only 3 1/2 weeks to go! And I will finally get to meet my little Miss Madison!
Thanks again for all the prayers, love, and good thoughts over the last 11 days. I know they are helping. And I will be forever thankful for them!
So now there is a goal in site. Tyler and I were going for 34 weeks already, but for a doctor to confirm that number makes it real. Today I am 30.3 weeks. So only 3 1/2 weeks to go! And I will finally get to meet my little Miss Madison!
Thanks again for all the prayers, love, and good thoughts over the last 11 days. I know they are helping. And I will be forever thankful for them!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Just a short update
Guess what?! I was able to get out of my room today! And not just to go down to do the fetal monitoring. I actually got to get into a wheelchair, and go for a ride! Tyler took me on a tour of our floor, down to the main floor, and OUTSIDE! I only went outside for just a minute but it was so nice to feel the wind on my face. I haven't been outside since Friday.
So today I am 30.1 weeks. My Doctors didn't think I would last a couple of days, and here I am a WHOLE week later! My BP readings have been consistently low for the last 2 days. The highest today was 140/75. Which is still well within normal range. And because of this turn of events I no longer have to have my BP checked every 2 hours, they bumped it up to 4 hours. So I might actually be able to get some sleep tonight!
The last two days have been very good for me and Tyler. And we pray that it continues to go this way, at least for a couple more weeks. Everyday is a blessing, Miss Madison needs this time to grow big and strong!
Thanks again for all the support that we have received this last week. It means the world to us!
So today I am 30.1 weeks. My Doctors didn't think I would last a couple of days, and here I am a WHOLE week later! My BP readings have been consistently low for the last 2 days. The highest today was 140/75. Which is still well within normal range. And because of this turn of events I no longer have to have my BP checked every 2 hours, they bumped it up to 4 hours. So I might actually be able to get some sleep tonight!
The last two days have been very good for me and Tyler. And we pray that it continues to go this way, at least for a couple more weeks. Everyday is a blessing, Miss Madison needs this time to grow big and strong!
Thanks again for all the support that we have received this last week. It means the world to us!
Friday, February 17, 2012
A little emotional insight...i guess.
I am still in the hospital. I am still getting my BP checked every 2 hours. I still have pre-planned meals. I still get a heparin shot 3 times a day. I still take 2 kinds of blood pressure medicine three times a day. I still have a little baby in my belly. I still have many blessings to be thankful for.
Yesterday was an interesting day. Well, it started out interesting I should say. I was woken up by a nurse at 6:00 am telling me they were going to put me back on the IV and that I couldn't eat or drink anymore. Uh-oh, you know what that means? That means they are thinking about doing surgery. The nurse explained that because my BP readings had been so high during the night before, they were considering doing the c-section that morning. But of course they had to talk to the resident. Apparently they were going to try to lower my BP with medication one last time. And then make a decision. Tyler stopped by on his way to work, and I told him to stick around until they made a decision. At 9:00 am the word came that my BP had dropped enough to delay delivery again. The IV came out, and I got breakfast! And for the rest of the day, thru the night, and today my BP has stayed pretty stable.
I've finally accepted what's going on. And it's not so scary. Initially it was so frightening. I was told that my baby would be born within hours. I was taken via ambulance to a new hospital because I was expected to deliver that night. But once there they were able to calm things down. I've been told several times that delivery is imminent, and to prepare for the worst. Each time they are able to get things under control. Let me tell you how emotionally taxing it is to have to go through that everyday. It gets exhausting, physically and emotionally. And yesterday morning I just reached the point of acceptance. We have exhausted every option we have medically to delay birth. I am on the maximum amount of TWO kinds of blood pressure medication. So at this point, it's not an "IF" its a "WHEN." This baby is going to come sooner rather then later. And the doctors have already bought me and Madison an extra week together. (Yep I've been here for a week!) So when the moment comes, I will not pray to delay it anymore. I will pray for the strength to get through the surgery and to be able to focus on my new baby. And of course I will pray for Madison to be a tough little girl. But she's made from some pretty strong stuff. Her mommy went through this 28years ago when she was born.
I was born at 32 weeks. (2 weeks further along then Madison) I was just over 4 pounds, 2 more pounds then Madison is expected to be. My mom was on bed rest for 3 months. She was at home, but she also had 2 young boys too. The difference between me and Madison? Well other then the fact that the medical technology in 1984 isn't near what it is now. I didn't get a beta methasone shot to speed up the development of my lungs. So I spent 3 months at Primary Children's Medical Center, trying to grow my lungs. And I still have a lower lung capacity then someone born at full term. But I made it!! And I thrived. So if I can so can she!
But it still scares me. Do you know how small 2 pounds is? That is tiny!! How am I going to take care of that? I have a hard time holding a full term newborn that weighs 8 + pounds. And they want me to hold a 2 pounder....uhhh HELP! My mommy told me that it will come naturally though. So I will trust that. But it's still mind boggling to me.
Ok, so my pre-planned meal just showed up. I'm gonna go try to eat it. And tomorrow I plan to still be in the hospital, getting my vitals taken, shots given, and blessing counted! I just may or may not have a baby in my belly, but that's not really up to me.
Yesterday was an interesting day. Well, it started out interesting I should say. I was woken up by a nurse at 6:00 am telling me they were going to put me back on the IV and that I couldn't eat or drink anymore. Uh-oh, you know what that means? That means they are thinking about doing surgery. The nurse explained that because my BP readings had been so high during the night before, they were considering doing the c-section that morning. But of course they had to talk to the resident. Apparently they were going to try to lower my BP with medication one last time. And then make a decision. Tyler stopped by on his way to work, and I told him to stick around until they made a decision. At 9:00 am the word came that my BP had dropped enough to delay delivery again. The IV came out, and I got breakfast! And for the rest of the day, thru the night, and today my BP has stayed pretty stable.
I've finally accepted what's going on. And it's not so scary. Initially it was so frightening. I was told that my baby would be born within hours. I was taken via ambulance to a new hospital because I was expected to deliver that night. But once there they were able to calm things down. I've been told several times that delivery is imminent, and to prepare for the worst. Each time they are able to get things under control. Let me tell you how emotionally taxing it is to have to go through that everyday. It gets exhausting, physically and emotionally. And yesterday morning I just reached the point of acceptance. We have exhausted every option we have medically to delay birth. I am on the maximum amount of TWO kinds of blood pressure medication. So at this point, it's not an "IF" its a "WHEN." This baby is going to come sooner rather then later. And the doctors have already bought me and Madison an extra week together. (Yep I've been here for a week!) So when the moment comes, I will not pray to delay it anymore. I will pray for the strength to get through the surgery and to be able to focus on my new baby. And of course I will pray for Madison to be a tough little girl. But she's made from some pretty strong stuff. Her mommy went through this 28years ago when she was born.
I was born at 32 weeks. (2 weeks further along then Madison) I was just over 4 pounds, 2 more pounds then Madison is expected to be. My mom was on bed rest for 3 months. She was at home, but she also had 2 young boys too. The difference between me and Madison? Well other then the fact that the medical technology in 1984 isn't near what it is now. I didn't get a beta methasone shot to speed up the development of my lungs. So I spent 3 months at Primary Children's Medical Center, trying to grow my lungs. And I still have a lower lung capacity then someone born at full term. But I made it!! And I thrived. So if I can so can she!
But it still scares me. Do you know how small 2 pounds is? That is tiny!! How am I going to take care of that? I have a hard time holding a full term newborn that weighs 8 + pounds. And they want me to hold a 2 pounder....uhhh HELP! My mommy told me that it will come naturally though. So I will trust that. But it's still mind boggling to me.
Ok, so my pre-planned meal just showed up. I'm gonna go try to eat it. And tomorrow I plan to still be in the hospital, getting my vitals taken, shots given, and blessing counted! I just may or may not have a baby in my belly, but that's not really up to me.
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