Ranting about Germs and Winter, but Mostly Germs

The winter weather is officially upon us.  With the winter weather comes cold and flu season.  And for me the constant worry that Madison might get sick.  I feel the need to clarify some things.  I worry about Madison getting sick.  Yes, I am a new mom, and so I worry more then a mom of 2 or 3, because I don't know what the 'norm' is.  BUT, please don't think that I am being overly protective of my child, when I tell someone that we won't be going to church/attending your party/ or playing with your kids, if any one is sick.  I'm not trying to be rude or mean.  Madison cannot fight germs as well as a full term baby can.  We are back on a modified 'lockdown' through the cold and flu season.  When Madison was released from the hospital in April  cold and flu season was on the way out.  So we were told to stay away from other people for about 3 months so that her immune system could gain some strength.  So we did.  And after that we started taking her out more, and we even ventured to church.  But at her last well child appointment her doctor told us, this winter we need to be careful.  We do not need to avoid people this year, but if they have a cold or are sick, we need to avoid them.  RSV is a scary illness for a term baby with lungs that are ready to enter the world.  It's even worse for a preemie baby.

Madison was born 10 weeks early, her lungs were NOT ready yet.  So I know that some people with babies Madisons age may think I'm being a crazy mom, I know I'm not.  I spent 5 weeks, 5 WEEKS, in the NICU.  With people telling me every day to hope for the best but expect the worse.  "She's doing really good today, but tomorrow could be different."  "She did really good lastnight, but she could always go down hill."  Up until the day, THE DAY we went home, people were telling us that things could take a turn for the worse.  So every night when Tyler and I got ready to leave her side, we would pray that she would get through the night with no complications.  Every morning, and the way to the hospital I would pray that she had a good night.  And every afternoon when I left her side, I would pray for her to have a good day.  I prayed 24/7 for her to get better, and stay better.  I wished and hoped and prayed for 5 weeks to not hear bad news.  We were lucky, she never had a bad night or day.  She never had a downhill drop, she kept getting better and better.  And when we got her home, she continued to thrive.

I know, no mother wants her child to get sick, and most new moms worry about a cough or the sniffles.  But for me, I fought for 5 weeks for her to get better, and stay that way.  And I will do that for as long as I have to.  I will not expose her to unnecessary risk.  Next year might be better, she will be almost 2, and her lungs will be stronger.  So next winter, we would love to come to your parties/ play dates/ and church, with or without every ones germs. But this year, I'm not going to do it.  And I hope I don't offend anyone but if I do, well then to me, it will be your problem not mine.

I also feel I have to add this... My stay in the NICU, was minuscule to what some others have to go through.  And I know that.  My experience was a relatively good one.  I mean the NICU sucks, no doubt about that.  But my stay could have been a LOT worse, and I thank God that it wasn't.  I have friends who's babies went through worse then Mads.  But one thing all NICU families have in common, we will all do what we have to do to prevent our babies from ever ending up back in the NICU or PICU.  It's just not something we want to go through again.

So if I have to hurt some feelings to keep Madison healthy, well then I will just have to do that.  And either you get over it, or you won't.  If you don't, well then I guess we weren't that close anyway.