One of "THOSE" days

Today was one of "THOSE" days.  You know, the kind of days were everything just kind of seems to...well, suck.  Nothing major happened, and it was a gorgeous day outside.  But something just never really clicked.  I started this morning off at Les Schwab getting some nail pulled out of my tire, that in and of itself isn't a big deal, but I didn't get to play with Madison for as long as I wanted to this morning.  Then there is this pesky thing called work.  PTHHH it is not my favorite place to be right now.  Oh sure, work is never really a fabulous place to be, but lately it feels like my work place is SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME.  And I am blessed to have a job. I KNOW I KNOW, but that doesn't mean I have to LOVE it.  There is just a lot of negativity there right now, that is just pulling me down.  Then to top off the day, Tyler called me at work to inform me that the amazing crock-pot meal that I prepared this morning, didn't get cooked, because I DIDN'T TURN THE DANG THING ON.  I almost cried when he told me that, would it have been an over reaction....mmm probably, but it was just the cherry on top.

On my drive home I tried to shake off the negative vibes that had been following me around all day.  I was looking forward to a kiss from Tyler, and some play time with Madison.  My bad mood, was not going to ruin it.  By the time I walked in the door I was mostly ok, still a little grouchy, but oh man, as soon as I saw Madison, all the days worries were gone.  She looked at me and giggled and smiled and said "Ma Ma"  and I melted.  I got a kiss from Tyler and loves from Madison.

After we ate some pizza, the day was still warm enough to go play outside in the dirt with no jacket.  So by golly that's what we did.  Well, Madison played in the dirt, I watched.  Madison is growing up so fast.  I told Tyler, I miss having a snuggly baby around, but this age is pretty cool.  She is finally talking (a little bit) and exploring EVERYTHING!  And learning so much everyday.  After she got good and dirty we came inside, had a bath, a treat (a couple pieces of pineapple) read some books, sang some songs, and crashed.

And now that's what I'm going to do...crash.

Good Night!  Oh and I know this whole "write everyday" thing isn't going so well, but I'm trying...kinda.  ;)

Thoughts

OK, so this whole writing every day thing is a lot harder then I thought it would be.  I didn't post on Saturday, because it was such a full day I don't think I even got on the computer (except at work).  Sunday, was well Sunday and a girl has to have a day off right?  Monday I started to write something, but then Madison decided we needed to play, and what kind of mom would I be if I refused my ADORABLE little girl.  Yesterday was another busy day, I worked and then went to Young Women's, I was a half hour late, but still I went.  And that brings us to today.  Here I am playing catch up.

I need to think about what I want this blog to be.  Do I want to chronicle my every day life?  I think that might get kinda boring.  Or do I want to write more about my thoughts and feelings, with a little bit of goings on?  I think I will do more thoughts, feelings and milestones, as well as anything else that tickles my fancy.  I need to learn how to water mark my pictures so that I can post them without fear of someone stealing them.

Thought for today?  Not many.  I was off today and I try to have fun on my days off and not worry about work, or much else for that matter.  I did apply for some jobs in the Hearing Aid Dispensing field (which for those who are wondering, is what I want to be when I "grow up")  Madison was kinda grumpy today.  She loves to be outside, but dang it I don't like to be when it's snowing, which it was today.  She did have a chance later in the afternoon.  This morning she found a big ol' puddle to jump in and soak her shoes and socks.  But hey, you are only a kid once, so I let her jump and get wet...until it started to snow, then it was time to go find something warm to wear.

Feelings for today?  Mmmm, I am feeling loved by my husband and family.  I spent most of the day with my twinner, which is always awesome.  And went out to dinner with Tyler and the kiddo when my other plans fell through.  Madison did pretty well with both dinning out experiences. I used to get so anxious when we would go out.  She doesn't or rather didn't do well with public dinning.  It's one of those things that she just needed some practice.  Not that we eat out a lot, but as she is getting older she is starting to understand what to do and how to behave.  That makes eating out a better experience for EVERYONE involved.

I also need to work on length and how to end the blogs, but I suppose I can figure that out as I go along as well.  So for now, goodnight!

Its all good

I had a rough day at work today.  At least the last hour was kinda crappy.  I was there 45 minutes late.  On a day that I really just wanted to go home and see my husband and kid.  And then some other stupid stuff happened, that isn't even worth repeating because eventually I will forget about it, unless I write about it and stew about it.  So I'm  just plain ol' not gonna do any of that.  Anyway. I was frustrated about work and being there late so I was not my usual chipper self when I walked in the door.  I just wanted a hug and a kiss from my 2 favorite people, then I wanted to go enjoy my Friday night.  

When I walked in, I did get my hug and kiss, but the Tyler (the ward mission leader) was going out with Gordan (one of his ward missionaries) to visit some families and would be back around 730.  Talk about a bummer. I walk in the door and he walks out. 

I was determined to be pissed about it.  But I couldn't.  I know he is out fulfilling his calling and spreading the Gospel.  So while he was out fulfilling his calling I decided I need to work harder at my calling.  I am an advisor for the Laurels, and when I was first given this calling I was super excited, I knew I was given this calling for a reason. But lately I have been slacking.  I only go to young women's when it is my week to teach and I rarely go to the activities any more.  Granted I usually work until 715 or so on the activity nights.  But even if I'm late I should try to go.  So starting now no more slacking.  I was given this calling for a reason, time to give it the attention it deserves. 

And I actually did get to enjoy my Friday.  Madison was a really good kid tonight.  We ate some popcorn with my mom and played for a bit.  And then when Tyler got home we went to A&W for a late dinner, although they forgot to give us our ice cream. But we didn't even notice until we got home. It was actually kinda funny. It was just a couple of ice cream cones so not much lost.

All in all a pretty good start to the weekend I must say

It's About Time

I'm not sure just how long it's been since my last entry...I guess I could go look but I don't wanna.  So I'm just going to dive right back into this blogging thing again.  In the next week I will do some updating.  I have decided to post a new entry everyday for a whole year.  And by the end of the year it should be habit so I will just keep doing it....right?   Hmmm I dunno if that will be the case. But it's worth a shot.  Maybe it will make a better writer of me.

Now that I've committed to writing every day, I can't think of anything to write about.  Isn't that the way it always is.

I think I'm going to call it a night. This isn't a very good first entry of what could be a very long year.  I wish I could write about my day, but they tend to be pretty boring these days.  Madison keeps me on my toes of course, but I went back to work full time in December and I don't think thinking about work let alone writing about it.  And I spend a good portion of my days at work.  So if I wrote about my daily life. It would get boring real quick.  And I don't want to read this later on and bore MYSELF to tears.  Haha.

I will think of a good topic tomorrow!

Good night!

A Little Randomness for Ya

Madison is going to be just like her Momma.  She LOVES animals.  Already!  We live in between 2 animal owners, to the east of us are 2 dogs, the west a kitty.  One of the dogs names is Ozzy.  Whenever the (I think annoy) thing barks Tyler and I yell "Shut up Ozzy!"  So, guess what my daughter calls dogs?  Yup, Ozzy.  We went to Pets Mart on Saturday because the Humane Society was there, and I wanted to see the animals.  Well we walk in and she starts saying "HI, ozzzggggy"  She can't quite get the actual word out, but I knew what she was trying to say.

But the animal she REALLY loves.  Is the pretty kitty from next door.  This is the most friendly cat I've ever seen.  It's mostly an indoor cat, but when it gets outside it waste no time coming next door into my backyard.  Even venturing INTO MY HOUSE one day, when I was cooking with the back door open.  Oh man, when that kitty came in, I thought Madison was going to wet her pants (she may have actually, she's still in diapers ya know) she was so excited.  All she does is point and OHH OHHHH OHHHOOOOOHHH hey HEY HEEEEYYYY HI HI HI HI.  It is so cute!  The kitty of course it terrified of my little noise maker, but that doesn't stop Madison.  She will chase that cat as fast as her skinny legs well let her.  Did I mention I spent most of last winter feeding this cat tuna from a can, because I wasn't sure if he was a stray or not?  That may explain it's urge to come into my house.

I would love to get her a kitty.  I myself being a cat person.  But I really don't want to deal with the kitty litter, I can just see the handfuls that would make it's way into her mouth...BLECHH.  Not to mention the fur, and destruction a cat can do.  Madison makes enough messes as it is, without adding a 4 legged animal to the mix.  

Speaking of handfuls of nasty-ness going into her mouth.  We made our first call to Poison Control this morning.  I walked into my bedroom to see Madison with her diaper rash cream in one fist, and the lid in her mouth.  I chased her around and pulled the cap out of her mouth.  Then after reading the label, that clearly says to seek medical attention or call Poison Control if ingested.  We promptly called Poison Control.  Apparently this particular brand has a laxative in it, that can cause some pretty powerful diarrhea, that's why there is a warning on the label.  Well Madison didn't get a mouthful, I think she just got a lick.  And she hasn't had any abnormal poops.  So whew, on that count.  But now that diaper rash cream is far out of her reach.

Oh what fun it is to have a toddler sometimes.  But you know what?  Today, was not a hard day to be a mom.  It was a great day actually!

Is there a secret?

How do some moms do it?  I can barely keep up with housework, playing with Madison, and keeping myself looking presentable.  Some days one of those things has to go, and it is never my play time with Madison.

My house is only ever clean for MAYBE a couple of hours, then the toys get pulled back out, and the dishes start to slowly pile up again.  All the while I feel like a bad mother, the house isn't clean, but I need to play with Madison, but I need to clean the house, but I need to spend time with Madison, but I need to cook dinner, but I need to teach Madison something.  And round and round it goes.

So is there some secret that some moms know that I don't?  The ones that are dressed to the nines at the doctors office, while I sit there wondering if I remembered to brush my teeth before I dashed out the door?

If there is, will someone please let me know.

Some Days it's Hard to Be a Mom

Yesterday was a hard day to be a mom.  It was a day filled with crying (both me and Mads), throw-up, doctors appointments, frustrating visits to the pharmacy, no shower (and possibly no morning teeth brushing), and to top it all off, 4 hours at work.  Madison is sick, she rarely gets sick, and we were told to avoid it, and fear it for the longest time, so now when it happens, my world kind of falls apart.

I thought she was just miserable because growing teeth, well that's hard work.  But on Thursday night she spent the night in bed with me and Tyler.  I tried to put her into her own bed several times, but as soon as I walked away from the crib she would just loose it.  So into my bed she went.  And when I say she slept in our bed, I actually mean she slept on ME in my bed.  She didn't get much sleep and developed a fever at some point.

I went to bed wrestling with myself, trying to decide if she was just teething or if something else was going on.  Let me explain something.  I HATE going to the doctors office.  Not because it cost money, or because it's far way (it's about 25-30 min away, but her Dr. is FABULOUS)  I hate going because if my child isn't sick (if we're going in for a Well Child checkup) then the last thing I want to do, is expose her to a whole room FULL of sick kids.  So I was wresting with myself, because do I risk exposing her to illness if it's just teeth?  At some point in the middle of the night, I finally made that decision that it was something else.  And that something else warranted a trip to the DR.

So the first thing I did when I woke up was to call the Doctors office and make an appointment for 12:10 that day.  That left me with only 4 hours to fill before we left.  We had a little bit of breakfast (she wasn't very hungry).  I put Madison on the floor by the bathtub to watch the water, when she had a coughing fit that ended with vomit on my bathroom floor.  And then we took a bath.  Water has this magical effect on Mads.  She LOVES her bath.  Even though she wasn't feeling very good, she was still able to splash and have a great time.  I got her dressed and attempted breakfast again.  Madison's poor sinuses were/are draining so bad that she is choking, then coughing so hard she pukes.  Well milk makes it worse.  So after breakfast attempt number 2, she threw up all over herself, me and my living room floor.  This day was going great and it wasn't even 10 am yet.

After getting a Priesthood blessing from her Grandpa and Great-Grandpa Johnson we went to the Dr.  I had somehow managed to pull my hair up and get dressed.  When we got there I was shocked, we were the only ones in the waiting room.  We even got to see the fishies that are usually under scrutiny from about 6 or 7 snot nosed, coughing kids.  Madison did so well at the doctors.  She didn't like getting her ears looked at.  But when I said her doctor is fabulous, I mean it.  He gets down on his knees, and plays with her and blows her kisses when he leaves.

Unfortunately Mads has a double ear infection, and what the doctor called a bronchial infection.  The bronchial infection is my worst nightmare come to fruition.  Her little lungs are so vulnerable to infection, we have been praying she would never get one.  He gave us her prescription and told me to make sure her lungs don't get worse.  Right now she is moving air just fine, it just sounds very "rattly" is what he said.  So even though she may appear to be getting better the infection can hide in the small capillaries of her lungs.   We will be keeping a close watch on her until she gets better.

I had a couple of minor break downs yesterday.  A crying child and fray nerves like nothing else.  What's worse is that I don't know what else I could have done to make it better for her, but love her and giver her what I thought she needed.

I never did get a shower yesterday, but I was able to wash my face and get a new coat of mascara on before leaving for work, where I had to deal with a whole different kind of frustrating.  I told Tyler that I hoped I wouldn't get fired last night.  I was cranky, and I really don't care for some of the people that were working last night.  But I was able to keep my thoughts to myself, and got home to a (shockingly) happy baby!

Yesterday was a hard day to be a Mom, but it was all worth it when Madison ran (as fast as her little legs could go) up to me when I walked in the door after work and gave me the biggest hug her little arms would let her.